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Today, well, today was interesting.  Got back from Rocky Horror really early this morning, then I had to go to church for my Luke/Acts class.  The requirement was to sit through a service of a different denomination and culture than I am.  Well, I don't go to church so I have no denomination, and culturally, I like to blend.  So...Japanese service it was.  Interesting.  Go again? Maybe, but definitely not religiously.  Pun not intended.

Yesterday my friend Marius  finally got into contact with me after several months (3).  Good times, we sent messages back and forth on Facebook for about an hour or two yesterday before I left for the show and then we sent a few more today, including posts in comments on the blog.  So that was fun too.  Last night/this morning I spent an hour or so in what I like to call the 'library'.  It's not an actual library, but a collection of emails/chats/discussions of many many things that Marius and I were a part of.  It's all compiled from our collective email accounts and stored in one that we both have the password to, so I've seen about half of it, but for the sake of sanity and privacy I've deleted about 98% of what I contributed to the library from my own emails, and only in the last 7 months or so have been privy to what Marius added.  Anyways, last night I needed to get back into some memories so I was scrolling through the library for an hour or two.  I got what I needed from it, and then some.  Maybe someday I'll go through, organize it, and compile it into a timeline.  I'd definitely like to download it all at some point, just to have a hard copy that I can piece together.

The title of the post tonight actually makes PERFECT sense if you've been in my presence long enough for me to say it.  Type those numbers into an old-fashioned calculator, and flip it upside-down; it's a word.  If you still can't figure out what word...well, your sanity is completely intact.

I NEED to get through this week (if you haven't noticed, this is the LONG post for this week).  This week:

-Make shirt

-Turn in shirt for Graphic Design

-Turn in movie review for Psych

-Turn in church review for Luke/Acts

-Turn in regular homework for Luke/Acts

-Get to a museum Thursday morning

-Get through Into to Art on Friday

-Take Wanted back to Game Stop (I know, I know, WHY buy it? I was out of it)

-Cash a money order

-Finish my Japanese snacks

-Buy water

-Go to the hardware store

-Get a housing ticket so I will have somewhere to live next semester

Next week:

-Enjoy Spring Break

-Play Rockband 2

-Play Left 4 Dead with friends

-Update Mirrors Edge and TR:Underworld

-Play the updates

-Pick up my pre-order of Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena

-Weep tears of Joy

-Play Riddick

-Wipe away more tears of joy

-Start Mass Effect

-Stress about homework I should have done

-Update my iTunes library

-Bug Marius via time zone differences (muahahaha!! You know I will)

-Talk to my aunt in Alabama

-Talk to my aunt in Los Altos

-Leave my mom a message

-Work on a scale model of a building for Graphic Design

-Look cool

-Stay up late

-Go to Rocky Horror again, on the 11th

-Write a poem to Vamp

-Write a ballad to Vampire Vineyards

-Compose a love song to Vamp

-Eat the last Taiyaki

-Mourn the absence of Taiyaki

-Cry

-Write a love song to Taiyaki

-Finish my cookies

-Call home for more cookies

-Bash the RD for my old dorm hall

-Do 1 push-up

-Complain that break was too short

-Curse under my breath while trying to finish stuff that should have been done in the beginning of break.

-Break down

-Sob into my pillow

-Get berated by Pyle 2.0

-Make Pyle 2.0

-Throw glares at my roommate to amuse myself

-Maybe write more story

-Watch disks 1 and 2 of Shuffle!

-Make high-pitched noises in my room

So as you can see, the next two weeks are PACKED.  So if I don't make it onto the blog that often, I think you can forgive me.

Tonight I had another idea for a theme of a collection I've been adding to on Facebook (see the picture).  The series is entitles "In My Mind" and I think that's pretty self-explanatory.  The pictures portray what goes on my mind when I have time to myself...which is pretty often.  In this case, this is one of those times where I have an idea which I SWEAR was a good idea to begin with, and then it always ends up failing.

Challenge Q: Describe something you've done for fun. Not a hobby of yours, but something that you just decided to do.  If you did it and it ended up becoming your hobby, that's fine.  It doesn't have to be epic, or your favourite, or even the best thing; just what you think of.

-Mine: in high school, myself, one of my friends, and the eldest of his younger sisters had a running list of words you could spell on calculators (entering numbers and flipping it to read it).  The paper had five columns, and there were two sheets of paper when we finally stopped.  We clarified whether words were real or not (zoos[my version of Zeus] vs. EloiEloi[it's a real word...in Hebrew *_^]), and we put initials next to who got credit for inventing the words.  I had more than 50% (53% I think), my friend had just under 50% and his sister had 2% of the words.  I did the math ^_^

*Please keep your description around the length of mine (paragraph or two).  I know this post is like three pages, but please, PLEASE, do as I say, not as I do (Marius, this is mostly directed at you).

Cheers,

-Shadow of Light

I Am Here...

Today so far - fun.

I went to an Asian grocery store, kick ass.  I bought a sake shot glass and Monster Energy's new Chai Tea drink which I then drank via 15 one ounce shots back in my dorm room while nom-ing on a glazed old fashioned doughnut.  I also got a bunch of other snacks, all of which I either learned or knew were crazy delicious.  Big hit: taiyaki.  Saw it eaten in the anime Kanon, and I just had to try it...thank God I did.  This was clearly what the OT meant when it said mana from heaven.

Before that I went to Game Stop to say hello to my second family.  I have mixed feelings, should I be happy or sad that both shifts on any given day at the Game Stop here know my face by name?  Anyway, I got my Edge Card finally so they'd stop asking me, and I got the Bioshock Game Informer...I cried tears of joy reading the article.

So here I am.  No longer listening to I Am Here, a heavy darkwave song by System Syn.  And I'm waiting for time to get it in gear so I can go see the Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight for the second time.  It was soo much fun last time.  The hardest part is getting new people to go though, but we have a few this time as well.  Fun.

Challenge Q: If you had ONE superpower what would it be?  And no tiered powers please.  Basic ability.  I would want to be able to freeze time.  Yes, Hiro Nakamura can do that, BUT he can also do much more.  You can't do that here.  Keep it simple.

Cheers,

-Shadow of Light

Wake up, Neo

Ok, so I just posted a post, and then I remembered something else from this last week, (actually, from  about 12 hours ago).  I was talking with yet another friend, (in real life, I have degrees of friendship, not that any one means any less than another, but some are really close, some are new, some are imaginary, I don't clarify on the blog because it feels awkward and long) and for some reason I mentioned something that I really had no reason to.  It wasn't bad, just personal and unrelated, and at first I thought I'd just thought about it after several years, but after today and this week, I had the epiphany that I didn't just remember it, but I've never really thought thinking about it.  It's come up almost everyday for the last three years, and I figure now that it's just so much a part of me that I don't really recognize it, but it's really the basis of everything I am.  And clearly I'm not going to spell it out, so I really don't know why I posted this.  It's late, I don't sleep, that's my excuse.

Ummm, ok:

Challenge Q: Dr Pepper - Regular or Diet?

Cheers,

again,

-Shadow of Light

Carpe Noctum

Ever had one of those days that started typical, got better, got mauled worse than the dinosaurs, and then ended sub par?  Today was one of those days.

My Intro to Art class was semi-canceled, the teacher was more than 15 minutes late, so I got to leave, but that doesn't mean I slacked off.  In a fit of joy that stemmed from not having to sit in a class for three hours, and from a chance to catch up with a friend of mine, I set to work on my graphic design project which should already be done, but isn't.  The design above the Memento Mori post is actually a shirt design that I made today, using about 13 hours of my day.  Starting was amazing, I was so pumped, I listened to a play list of fourteen of the 23 remixes of Forever that I have and sang along while I worked.  That and doing the design by hand on my giant closet door just made my day.  Then I took a break to say hello to my friend, one of the people I came to APU with from high school, but she's doing a study abroad program, so we visit when she's on main campus.  That was fun, lots of subdued humour, and small talk - relaxing.  Went back to working after that, still pumped up, then the stupid fire alarm got pulled by some degenerate.  Not wanting t do the whole, "line up ladies and gentlemen", I just hid with another friend until it was over.  Had TEA! ^_^ Hahaha, tea is always a highlight of my day (even when I pour boiling tea into my lap...fail).

Felt sort of funky before I left for my room again, something that in my life should have tipped me off.  But I went back to my room and started working again, and then I got a text from a family member which just absolutely crushed me.  I'm used to dealing with hopeless situations, emotions, etc. and it pisses me off no end when other people, especially those close to me, get hit by things in life that they truly aren't used to dealing with.  I'm still unsure whether that's true, or whether I'm truly bothered by the fact that can't do anything.  Anyway, knowing the history of the situation and knowing there just isn't anything to do for anyone but to just take it, I called back and just empathized.  But out of all the people I know, my family and about five other people are the only ones I always internalize, so for the rest of the day I've been living in the mindset of some one else's hopelessness, so I've been super quiet and pensive in my room all night.

But I still finished my project.  At least the design part, I'm going to get it printed on the shirt on Monday.  And then it was time to eat.  Too bad Azusa closes at 10.  So I walked through "dangerous Azusa" (absolute B.S. btw) down to Donut Man, and got myself an Old Fashioned for tomorrow and a Tiger Tail.  Plus while I was there some guy started giving away extra Tiger Tails because he and his cross-country bike group needed to go and he bought to many.  Free donut = smile.

Eating food you like releases endorphins.  They make you happy.  I like Tiger Tails.  I was happy.  And then I felt like crap.  Yay sugar.

Challenge Q: Do you believe in angels?  Please just answer 'yes' or 'no'.  This is a topic that I know from experience can have infinite spawning points of views for either answer, and knowing that my reason is so personal I've never shared the full reason, I don't want to pry or ask you for things that you also may keep close to your heart.  So there.  My answer is 'yes'.  See? Really simple.  Please don't over complicate it.  Although there are two people who I know who would probably do so on purpose, but I've known them for several years, so they can get away with it.

Cheers,

Shadow of Light

Memento Mori

Well this has been a really rough week. I received a phone call Tuesday morning letting me know a friend of mine had died in his sleep, with no suggestions so far as to why.  His name is Johnson Ko, he was a senior at the high school I graduated from, and was close to myself and the friends I spent a lot of my time with at school.  His death is a really huge blow to many people, as he was really well liked, and sort of fit in with everyone.  There isn't much that I can really do for him, nor much that I can really say, I knew him as well as anyone else who spent a fair amount of time around him, but we weren't as close as others in the school, but I do know how much he meant in the lives of those he was really close to, and how much joy he brought to their lives.

I can't tell you much else about him, and personally the best memory I have about him is that he was one of the few people from the school who gave me something when I graduated.  I wish I had a better memory, or that I could say something deep that really echoed some theme of his life, but I don't have anything.

The title of this post though, Memento Mori, is something I've known for a while, but only as of Tuesday really had an application for.  This is how I'm remembering Johnson.  The phrase is Latin for "Remember you will die" (roughly), and "Remember you are human".  It's a theme that has come up in my life a few times, but I think it really applies to Johnson in that we never expected anything to happen, and we never thought that it was really a possibility with how young he was.

R.I.P. Johnson

Challenge Q:  How do you deal with grief?  We don't really live in a society where we have time to truly grieve and accept things that happen in life, we're usually expected to just take it in stride or take what little bit of sympathy is given to us and move on and live life.  I can't speak for everyone, but I've dealt with quite a bit of death and loss recently, and maybe I'm just screwed up, but I'm not wired to just move on; things stay with me until I'm over them, and I rarely have the time I need to deal with them.  When I do absolutely need to escape though; to get y mind away from the world and just be with my thoughts: I drown the world in music.  I wipe away all other noise with sound and mull things over until I have enough comfort to let me get on with my life.  The song I've been listening to this week has been Forever, it's a piece worked on by several artists, VNV Nation being one of them.  For me, lyrics with meaning make all the difference, and Ronan Harris' voice is one of about three that calms my soul.

You can find a remix of the song here:

http://twiturm.com/9208

I tend to think of this remix as going quite well with the Crucifixion (four years at a Christian school), but I think that there's something to be said for it about now.

Memento Mori,

-Umbra

Crippled Weekends

Ok, well I'm not really crippled, but I can't move my finger and it's a weekend.  Not much going on really, I need to do homework, but I still have the rest of today and all of tomorrow.  I'm pretty good about doing my homework, but in this case there's actually some good reasons.  Not going to rant though.

Probably going to work on my story a bit today, I've been working on it for a while, and it's a good escape, just recently gotten back into it.  Of course with writing there's also music involved.  I usually stick to my iTunes library, but sometimes I want to let life be a bit more out of my control, so I listen to Pandora radio.  Let's me keep things in my ballpark and still get some new stuff occasionally, seeing that most of my current library is built off of what Pandora plays. I like the new feature of adding multiple artists to a single station, I just added Covenant, Depeche Mode, Assemblage 23, Nightwish, and Xandria to my VNV Nation station, and three songs in, I'm happy.  I think Iris is a band I want to pay more attention to, reminds me of a cross between Depeche Mode and Assemblage 23.

Had tea with a friend today, glad I did. It's interesting how different people have different effects on my personality via my mood.  Anyways, I feel much better now than I did late last night.

Started a new anime series, Kanon.  I've heard good things, so I bought the first DVD and I'm really quite happy.  It's joining my list of favourites along with Shuffle! and Hellsing.

I really hope I don't have a graphic design project this week, I'm sort of running dry right now.  If I do...well, then I do.  And I'll come up with something.

I'm really hoping to get through to spring break soon, I'm staying here at school...even though I could go home.  I think I could use the time to myself, even though I could do to see some of my really good friends.  Side note: Depeche Mode - Precious....don't know why, but this song just hits me and connects.  I like it, but it feels very...idk.

On the note of Playing the Angel, they really fascinate me, angels. Reguardless of anything that's come up in religion or faith, I've sort of had this liking for angels.  And to me maybe it's just me being a guy, but I've always thought it would truly be fitting for angels to be women.  Even the name, it just sounds...feminine.  Not in a weak way mind you, I also immagine angels to be pretty bad ass.  But graceful.  Idk, it's me, I'm lost in ideas, dreams, and delusions most of the time, saves me from being in my real world, which for me isn't all that great.  I like the world I make, even if it is a lie.  Ha, this post ended up being long anyways...sigh.

Challenge Q: If you could have a single super power, what would it be?  I would want the ability to control the speed of time, i.e. slow it, freeze it, speed it up, etc.  That or control the weather.  Both of these somewhat stem from the fact that I wish I had more time to do homework, and I hate the weather here in Azusa.  I want to go back to San Fransisco!  You know the drill, answer in the comments.

Mmk, I'm off to write.  Cheers,

Shadow of Light

P.S. As you can see by the "posted by" my name is Joe, but I sign Shadow of Light anyway. It's part of being more than a person, but a belief.

Art and Delciousness

First off, deliciousness is a word, and it stems from the drink called "Thank You Jesus".  Go to Jamba Juice and order it.  Right now.  Leave my blog and go, you'll thank me.  I'll wait.

Back?  I told you deliciousness was a word.

Today's news: I was up really late working on an art project last night.  The assignment was to make either a memorial or a representation of sacred space.  I didn't really want to do a memorial, because mine would probably be trivial an stupid to most people, plus: it's personal.  I also didn't want to be really religious and design a cathedral with stained glass and little cherubim all over the places etc.  So I created what you see in the picture.  The egg is real.  The lights are real.  I love working with black and white and light.  Black and white in themselves are pretty awesome, but when you add light you get stuff that looks like it should have a soundtrack of choral sung by the Sirens.

Funny story: the egg seen wasn't the original intended egg.  There was another.  I was trying to fix it to my liking with my exacto knife and it esploded (esplode is my version of explode when I want to portray more awesomeness in the word, I do know how to spell), and the knife went down through the egg that was flying in five billion directions, and into my finger.  Epic fail.  But I don't want stitches, so I bandaged it up myself. ^_^ It's fine.

In other news: I got an awesome tribute for my birthday from a good friend of mine John.  He posted it on his blog, which by the way, you should SERIOUSLY check out. 

http://www.johnroscigno.com/

It's really a good blog imho.  For more info about it, just go to it, I really don't want to ruin it for you, and you'd be doing yourself a favour.

To cover things I said I would in the last post, I'm supposed to tell you:

1. People responsible for this blog.  Currently, just me.  There was another helper, a Styrofoam abstract art piece named Pyle.  But I needed to use part of him for the egg project.  So...

2. Email address.  None yet.

3. Explanations.  Ok, first: the URL.  Yes, shrouded is misspelled.  It's intentional.  Shrowded teacup?  I drink a lot of tea.  I love tea.  I'm also kind of dark.  It's influenced by a friend as well.

Shadow of Light?  Think deep.  I'm really not a fan of the sun.  It's too hot/bright/etc.  Fog is amazing (I'm from the Bay Area).  I've always wondered though: what if instead of light shining down, shadows shone down?  So invert light and shadows, and you get me, Shadow of Light.  If you can truly picture it, then you should at least be able to admit that it's an interesting thought.

Challenge Q:  What is a verse/chorus/bridge of a song, lyrics wise or even an instrumental part that means a lot to you/expresses who you are?  Doesn't have to be a favourite, just whatever comes to mind.  Here's my example:

Moments lost though time remains

I am so proud of what we were

No pain remains

No feeling

Eternity awaits

Grant me wings that I might fly

My restless soul is longing

No pain remains

No feeling

Eternity awaits

Beloved-VNV Nation

That's it, that's all you have to do.  Just click the comment button, and type it in.  It's that simple.

Alright, well I'm kind of tired, and I don't want to take up a ton of your time, just give you something to occupy it.  So that's all for now.

Cheers,

Shadow of Light

In the beginning...

...well, there was this post.  And from this post other posts branched off.  The readers separated the good posts from the bad ones, and to some said, "this is good".

But whatever.  I could go on, but I'd rather not.  Digressing is far more entertaining to the writer.

Here's a side note, I'm not a writer.  I'm not anything yet.  I am straight, however, not that it matters, but as long as I'm publicly stating what I am and am not, I might as well say that as well.  I don't mind what you are, even if you mind what I am, the point is, I'm either going to irritate you or not, you're going to love me or not, there is no true gray area when it comes to me.

Guys - my question to you: what if you could pee fire?  Think about it; if you could pee fire at will, without getting burned, tell me you would never take advantage of that at some point.  Deep down we all know we would, it's as inherent as when you were a little kid and you wondered what you could do with...

Right, well, the first post!  Here it is.  If you can't find it, well, you're close, at least you're on a blog about the lost part of the found (Keeping up? ^_^) .  You'll find this about me, both in writing and definitely if you've talked to me, I make sense when I try; but I'm also very lazy when it comes to working with other people, especially in communication.  Family tried to change that. Epic fail.

I'm in college, something you're likely to have doubts about.  If not, then at some point you'll probably curl up in a ball and cry, knowing that somewhere in the world (Azusa, CA), there is a guy in college who is almost completely out of touch with the world, and the school (APU) is TEACHING this individual.  Even I find that frightening.

But don't be too afraid, I reassure myself by telling myself that a Graphic Design major (that's me) should be slightly irrational, out of touch, deluded, and border on sanity.  Imagine the ads we would have in the world without people like me.  Bleak and dreary billboards, monotonous fonts appearing every three miles on your local freeway, no imagination.  And video games? Yep, that's part of my field too, boys and girls.  Do you think they would sell or be any fun if the concepts came from a bunch of people who acted their age? In a way, it's one of the two mos perfect and NEEDED fields (society is losing culture, dare we risk losing imagination too?).  the other is of course literature.  Writing.  Putting my type of personality onto paper.  Two worlds where anything is possible (Graphic Design falls into the art world, so all you music and art people, don't fear, I love you *_^).  If you doubt this theory, GREAT, I'm all ears, just have a good reason.  Creativity and rationality were meant for each other.  AS long as each is as eccentric as the other, i.e. I'm very rational...about some very good things to be rational about.  And my creativity is an extension of my disconnect from reality.  The levels of which would astound you.  That's RIGHT: 'levels', plural! (hom-i-nom-i-nay!).

Alright, so you there's a lot here right?  Well, I'm truly glad you made it this far.  It shows you care.  Or at least were entertained.  I feel bad for some of my friends, when I'm in a mood sometimes I'll send a note or email about this long to them, and then they read and reply, and I'm filled with respect for them.

So here are some of the rules of this blog...for me.

1. No other blogs before me.  (Just. Kidding.  Go have fun.)

2. Comments are WELCOME!  Seriously, you made it through a post like this, you deserve a comment.

3. I have not decided how often I'm going to post, but if I post often - smaller posts than this one.  Less often - longer posts.

4. If you have questions you want me to address, I'll honestly do it.  Maybe not intense research, but at least a well thought out opinion.

5. If you want pictures of things, themed posts, etc. - let me know via? You guessed it, comments.  Again, I will honestly try it.  Challenge me, if I wanted to write for my own entertainment, I'd keep a journal.  Or a diary.  A fluffy one.  With a Mountain Lion on it.  Bad. Ass.  O.0'

6. There will be one challenge for you per post, and you can comment on that challenge on that that post.  It's not required, but I'm going out of my way to come up with some ideas, you should go out of your way to at least laugh at them for the world to see.  Don't be embarrassed, it's not like I have software that will tell me your I.P. address and I'm going to cyber stalk you.  Cause Ii don't.  I'm in college, that means no money.  It's not a myth.  If you know a person in college with money: 1. their parents are rich or 2. they are shady people and you shouldn't hang around them.

Alright then, I've introduced myself in a round-about way.  Here's a question that stems from a conversation about a topic that someone brought up on Facebook, based on a wall post derived from an article.  I think.

Challenge Q: ('Q' means 'question' on this blog).  What do you think about when you think of good physical/structural design.  Examples: do you like the more geometrical concepts of Art Deco, Classical looks drawn from Greece and Rome, simplistic patterns on walls/furniture, sleek designs of cars, coarse and rugged buildings.  I'm really interested.  If you want, let me know what aesthetic properties you like.  I'm up for seriously, anything.  Everything is valid.  If you have questions, go ahead and post them in comments. Hope to hear from you on this.

And this is the end.  Forgive the length, although if you made it this far and are pissed, it's your own fault.

I'll work on some other things in future posts, but I just wanted to get this off the ground.  It was this or three weeks worth of Luke/Acts homework...sigh.

Next time in the Shadows: 

-Possibly an email address for you to contact me personally.

-Pictures! (if I feel like it)

-More rants and discussions (maybe)

-Explanation of the name of the blog in more detail, there's some really deep themes behind it

-Another challenge! (even if you fail to do this one)

-An introduction to the theatre working this blog.  It's more than just me.  Sort of.

Cheers,

Shadow of Light