Something to help you explain it away,
Words to support whatever you say,
Words that mask your human ways.
Let's see, it's been quite a while. Since my last post a great has happened. Short version: I've done a bunch of art homework, been super stressed with a ridiculous schedule, dropped a class because I didn't have time for it, dislocated my shoulder, relocated my shoulder, fractured my clavicle (I've been saying 'broke' but only because it's a less harsh word and a syllable shorter), got a sling for my arm, added 'flair' to my sling, talked to people back home - but not long enough and not all of them, and I've spent more time than I like with people who haven't gotten past their egos from high school.
All in good time. First, just to get it out there - the clavicle. I was sprinkler diving (it's not on Youtube yet, but apparently it's something going around through colleges and people are getting hurt ^_^). Simple rules, dive at the sprinkler, touch the stream, roll, recover, repeat. I had a beautiful first dive and then screwed the second one up when I slipped in my jump. In the process I dislocated my shoulder, pushing it out of it's socket and up slightly. When I got back to my room, I copied the scene from Lethal Weapon 2 and slammed my shoulder into place. You don't know pain until you relocate a bone on your own without any painkillers. I passed out. It was either in the process of dislocating it or relocating it that I fractured my clavicle. It's annoying as Hell to not be able to move my arm more than a few inches, and the pain is bothersome when I do move it too far or if it gets messed up when I sleep - it puts me in a lovely mood. In the end though, it was totally worth it, I had fun. As for the pain, I took vicodin twice when it was really bad and I wanted to sleep, but it's useless so now I stick with Tylenol or ibuprofen when I remember them. I tend to forget, but I'm used to pain now. As a matter of fact I walked by a fence tonight and felt one of the barbs sticking out rip through my arm and just kept walking. Honestly, I don't have time for pain on Mondays and Wednesdays.
And now for my favourite part: the people paragraph. Skip this if you think people are wonderful, you're better off in ignorance, it really is bliss.
Remember all those times you thought being with older people would be better because you wouldn't have to put up with all the same things you were already putting up with? In junior high you thought high school was going to be different, then you hoped that college would be the answer to those problems. Oh how you were let down. If you honestly found it to be exactly as you planned (and if you thought it would be wonderful) then you live in a very special part of reality. I don't mean to say that one of them turned out to be alright, but I definitely mean to say that life is never what you expect and you will always be disappointed. Currently, I'm not talking about me - I feel I'm very in tune with the world right now, although we're not on the best of terms. I will admit that I naively thought college would be something spectacular though, where all I hoped for worked itself out. In high school I knew that once I was in college with Nano we'd find some happy medium and things would work out. Awww, wasn't I cute? ^_^ In the month before I got to this, erm...delightful school, I watched my dog suffer from a tumor, I put him down, I got a very well timed phone call from Nano letting me know it wasn't going to work out - ever, and I also arrived in what I now refer to as Hell (literally, I call it Hell all the time). In short - I grew up. I finished a year, I went back home, and as I've stated in the last few posts, I really lost faith in people. I am NOT the person you want to talk to about your 'good deeds'. I am NOT the person you want to talk to about the 'change' you want to see in the world. My opinion? I can respect you if you are sincere in your beliefs and honest about your actions, but either way nothing you do is going to really affect people unless there's more than one you. Humanity is bringing itself down in numbers, you can't build it up on your own. Not to say that you shouldn't try, but I won't be next to you until I see that other people are getting their asses in gear. There's way too much wrong with the world to fix it. You can solve all of the issues with people and the world, hunger, prostitution, etc. it will take a while, but it can be done. You can't fix the loss of honour, respect, the actual value of people. People want to fix the world and not themselves, but they don't like being broken. Something forgotten. Something ignored. Something is missing. Something we don't have anymore.
I digress. What I really want to rant about is the people at college. Sorry, the people at APU - clarification. (These are generalizations, but for the most part you'll find I'm pretty much dead on)
Freshman - mostly naive, not to bright. Mostly naive. Plus they don't know the school. I was one once. Although not as naive. I think *_^
APU Girls - most hoping to find the 'one'. The end of the first semester is fantastic! The jerk-off guys that they meet and date/'love' end up dumping them because they're jerks, or because the girls are psycho (or both!) and then you get some really great drama. Watching this drama (at a distance) is one of my favourite activities. Then there's the 'special features' where you talk to the girl about it after the fight and throw in comments about how much of a jerk the guy was (even if he wasn't (rarely)) and you get all the mean comments she couldn't think of when she was yelling at him. It's not because I enjoy their pain, it's because when you find out the reasons - they're REALLY stupid. "He didn't call me last night!" "She asked her brother for homework help!" No joke, these are some of the reasons. This is what this all about, the stupid, stupid reasons people fight. Super awesome. Still doesn't make APU any fun.
APU guys - generally average men. aka - not too bright, don't really understand women (but APU women are also pretty unique, so guys get a little slack), and generally jerks in friendships and relationships. Not a whole lot else.
And now the important group - the people that you end up being friends with. There's always the good people, the solid friends who know what honour and respect are. But then there's always those people that you're sort of stuck with - they think they're hot stuff, really bad ass, and totally a match for you. Wrong. With my good friends, we give each other crap all the time, if it's really bad we usually give each other the finger or say "you suck". We laugh it off. If we have a bad day, we deal with it, if we can't deal with it, we don't make it someone else's problem. And if there's an issue, it ends after a day, two max. If it lasts longer than that, then it's a real issue and it needs to be taken care of. Over the last few weeks we've been giving flak to a friend of ours. His response at first was meaningless threats, the type I used in high school, and the kind that screwed my life first semester. Even if the threats were real, you have to look at the people you're threatening: two guys who could easily throw you across the room, and a guy who relocates his shoulder on his own. In general, myself included, these are not the people you screw with. You do not go up to a pro fighter and spit in his face - he will beat you to death. I have always, always stated that if you have an issue with me, you tell me - respectfully - and I will be more than happy to work it out with you. This guy blatantly states that he has issues with his emotions and whines that we're being to rough on him during his "bad days" which turn out to be every day. So we have a group talk and decide that we're not going to bother him, because we're tired of him being pissy and emo. We turn our focus to other people, and then he gets pissy because we're ignoring him. I'm venting online because I'm getting really irritated with it. I drop things after a day or so, but having it repeated every day doesn't really give me a chance to drop it now, does it? Also, when it comes to repeated threats - don't threaten someone when they aren't harassing you, it's in bad taste. Besides, the more you threaten a person with comments like, "just because I'm scrawny, don't think I won't put up a fight" you honestly be able to hold up to your comment. Empty words go nowhere with me. I will not start a fight, I don't believe in fighting over things, but I will finish a fight, and I could really care less about how it ends. Never fight someone you can't beat, and never fight someone with nothing to lose - I'm the latter./rant
Today I saw my favourite teacher here at APU, Arciniega, while I was having dinner with one of the Abellas. We both took his class, and we both love that man incredibly. As much as I like talking to Woody Morwood here (which I'm doing on Friday), Arciniega is way more fun to hang out with. Talking to him for five minutes brightened my entire day. Thinking about it makes me happy. There are several reason I love this man: he doesn't shove religion in your face, he's super smart, he's got an AMAZING sense of humour (i.e. we told him he hadn't had a teacher like him and he said, jokingly, "well, it's cause I'm the best" - He truly is though), and he looks very similar to Ronan Harris. He makes 15 page papers fun. He makes theology fun. He makes life fun. We're definitely going to try and have lunch or coffee with him at some point. And I'm seriously considering sitting in his class again so that I can take more notes and eventually take his style back to my high school. I'd like to use his methods to teach a bible class for a semester, and see what happens (I'd probably get kicked out *_^ I don't think it would sit well if I made students make their own opinions about the Bible). At the very least I want to get more notes from him and relearn what he taught me, it just isn't as much fun without him teaching the class. He made my first semester worthwhile.
I also got my microwave this week (WE CAN COOK FOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!! ^_^). I'm going to call my aunt tomorrow and thank her, I haven't had time so far this week, I have a very very busy life now. Wednesday nights are going to be free though, because I have no class on Thursday! ^_^ We named the microwave Sylar. After the scene in Heroes season one where he gets the nuclear power and is standing on a building rooftop playing with small nuclear reactions and calmly says, "boom". That's the scene the microwave is named after. Although now that I think about it, I might name it after a Psych reference. We'll see.
Alright, well that's it tonight. The title tonight and the lyrics are from the song 'Salvation' by Imperative Reaction. Another band with meaningful lyrics, but in a very specific style. You can listen to it here: http://twiturm.com/ydyxq
Cheers,
-Shadow of Light
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