Saturday, September 5, 2009

Back to the Crypt

...Nothing will last, we'll all fade away in one single blast.

Clearly I've returned to school. I'm such a fan.

Last year people would have called me a pessimist and I would have argued that I'm a realist. This year, people still call me a pessimist and I can't help but agree with them. At least I'm rational. Kind of. At least I hope so. I act rationally, but I do vent something fierce. Example: I had my own room. After five straight hours of unpacking one of my roommates showed up and informed me that 'they' (don't know if that means all of them, or a small majority) had group decided that the room I was in should be used to extend the living room. Oh, and that "I probably should have told you sooner".

Really? You think so? I don't know, I don't think there's anything wrong with letting someone spend five hours unpacking and then telling them "we" decided. For the sake of argument and the fact that I have to live with these people for a year, I just did it. But you'd think people would have a little respect. Honestly, it pisses me off incredibly, but it also proves a great deal of what I've said and felt over this summer. Honour is dying. People don't care anymore, they don't even try. At APU in particular, most people don't even know what it is to think of someone else before yourself. And it makes all the more aggravating to me that this is supposed to be a Christian college. I don't care what your religious views are, but if you're going to stand behind it, you best do it if you want my respect. The hypocrisy b.s. is what drives me insane. Everyone just stands by, and says, 'oh, it's the world we live in'. We do live in a world that's completely screwed, but it's made that way by the people in it.

In the end I'm in room, no longer to myself (which would have made me very happy), and I will eventually be getting a roommate. I don't mind having a roommate. I don't mind sharing a room. I'd prefer neither, not because of the person, but because I'm antisocial and I'm going to be doing a lot of projects that might bother other people. I think of these things, because as much as I think most of the people I encounter are an edification of everything I hate, I still take time to think about them. Clearly there was a evolutionary gap when it came to some of my roommates.

And by the way, I'm also not speaking behind their backs. This blog is open to the public, including them, and I post direct links to it that they have access to. If they read this, they'll know my thoughts. If they ask me about it, I will repeat everything I've said. If they ask me how I feel whether they've read this or not, I will gladly share my opinion. That is far as the extent of my goodwill goes. I care how people feel, until they want answers, then they better want the truth, I have no time for word games and trying to play peace-maker and the compromiser. I pick my battles, and I never lose the ones I choose to fight. It's a shame I had the summer I did, otherwise I might be a little more forgiving, as it is, I've shown goodwill and compromise. Once. I like being in my room. But I know it's not really, 'mine', and that makes me glad to be elsewhere.

In other news I was talking with friends tonight about people we know and how damage is done to some of the living spaces, and it really made me wonder whether or not the school has insurance on them. I know the school takes care of a great deal of the repairs for windows and fixing walls and stuff, but at some point isn't someone going to do damage that isn't fixed with some supplies from ACE. My mom once set one of the places she lived on fire just because she forgot to blow out all the candles she had lit. We have protection against that (school's philosophy - protect by forbidding), but someone is going to want to break the rules one day and but paper on a hot plate, or light a candle, or drive a car into a building (slightly impressive in it's own right - internet worthy). These are things that happen on those rare occasions and it's not like you can call maintenance to come patch them up. It was an interesting segway.

Tonight's title is from the song, 'Shelter' by Icon of Coil. I like the lyrics, I like the beat. It is not, however, the music I'm listening to currently. Right now I'm enjoying the band, She Wants Revenge. They're played at Death Guild at the DNA Lounge sometimes, and the singer has an interesting voice with interesting lyrics. I would recommend 'Out of Control' or 'I Don't Want to Fall in Love'.

And I also spoke to my friends about a couple of ideas I had. One in particular that I like because it seems funny to me, is to lay make a video of a black cloth, with black-gloved hands laying out dangerous looking tools out on it to the sound of one of the songs from Hitman: Blood Money. Then after all the really odd, creepy tools are laid out lovingly, the video would go on to say something about art being dangerous. I have some very creepy art supplies - when set out appropriately. An X-Acto knife laid out next to a hand saw, some wire cutters, and a metal file and some other dark-looking tools - might be a great ad ^_^

Cheers,
Shadow of Light

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