I chose it for a couple reasons, mostly because I'm listening to the EP that I just got right now. It's a nice, mellow, meaningful song. I'm listening to the album because It's also one of those songs that affects my mood, and right now I need it. Today has been kind of...unsatisfactory? Its really a shame too, because last night was pretty awesome - went out with Rosales, Teenie, and her friend Lauren. After that Rosales and I went back to his place, got some In n' Out, watched the final part of R.O.D. (Read Or Die - an anime show and 3-part movie (we watched the movie)), an episode of Little Britain, and generally chilled out.
Then today happened. God, what a day. I got about 6 hours of sleep, but I also woke up really late (noon). Made another mask on my own and it turned out - less than desirable, due to poor planning on my part. Struggled with trying to get my nose to stop hurting, because the pain is really starting to piss me off, it's this sharp, stabbing pain just under my left eye on the side that doesn't work, and while it's bad enough I haven't noticed my headache like I usually do, it's also pretty effing bad, so I don't know which one I prefer. At least the headache usually lessens with aspirin. This lessens a bit if I bite into my arm, but considering it's only temporary relief it's not worth it to me to give myself two puncture wounds on my wrist.
As usual, everything took on a really wonderful aura for the rest of the day (/sarcasm). I decided to try and get some files off of an old computer but I can't seem to find a keyboard that works, so I got the giant thing out for nothing and had to shove it and all it's crap back into it's hole.
Then I decided to get back onto my old Facebook account so I could pull off all my old messages and important wall posts and put them in documents so that I could have them on record without having to go back into it all the time. That was actually not too bad - I put a couple of messages into their own document because I'll probably access them more, and one document in particular is 38 pages, while the document of all the other messages compiled together is 13. And that's the OLD account alone - I'm actually kind of curious as to how much longer it would be with the messages from my new account. But of course going through old accounts also means seeing old messages and people you no longer see - and that's always just so much fun! Didn't make my mood any worse, but it didn't make it any better either.
And this was one of those days (I've had a few) where someone asked me, "why are you so angry?" -_- Here's the thing: I wasn't in a good mood - but I wasn't angry either...until then. It's like being poked when you're in a bad mood - everything just jumps to the polar extreme and then the poker gets all offended because you're angry, and you're there with the, "what the hell?" look, because it's pretty freaking obvious why you're suddenly so pissed off. And then there's the conversation that goes on after that with the usual defense of, "I was just playing, you don't need to be so pissy about it". In all earnest, there's a really simple solution to this: DON'T POKE!!!!!!!!!! Tickling falls into the same category sometimes too. When people are unhappy and you are a part of their irritation, don't touch them!
That might just be me though.
Anyways, today I was asked why I was so angry, and I've been kind of...angry...ever since. Originally I was just in pain and over contemplating life. For example (and feel free to post answers), if you're a cynic about things (like I am), but you find exceptions for those things, are you really a cynic? For example, I don't believe in love. I believe in the familial love, the love that's inherent, but not the love as in "I'm in love", "I fell in love", etc. However, I have three pairs of friends who are all, "in love" and engaged, and I'm totally happy for them. I do not think that their relationships are fake, but I still don't believe in love. That is what I contemplated most of the day. Still have no answer for myself, and it's kind of bugging me. Maybe because I'd like to believe in love, but just don't get it?? IDK. It can be tomorrow's problem.
And so tonight I will leave you with something: Kathy's Song (again, I find love in music, but not in life. what the heck?)
Oh my love, it's time
You know how it feels
You read between the lines
And know me better than I do
I'm lost again my friend
You know I'm not a saint
You've known it all this time
Still you've been waiting for me here...
Come lie next to me
Know why, you and me are one
Come lie next to me
No lies, you and me are one
Here is a link to the song on Youtube, one of my favourite remixes for the song (much steadier than the others, good choice of vocals, etc.): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EW5WHdhMWdI&feature=related
Cheers,
Shadow of Light
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