Post Script

You can see what's going on from now on here:

http://livingfurther.blogspot.com/

Maximus Ex

Look up the Latin if you don't know what the title means.

Something came about from all of this. Be patient, while I go pour myself some tea and watch the egg tremble and slowly hatch. Then I'll take it somewhere safe and start something new. Don't know how long it'll last, but It'll exist until it dies or until it can go off on it's own.

In case you read this (and for you who STILL do... -_- (yeah, 15 minutes on the site catches my eye, I'm crazy, not stupid)), thought I'd let you know.

Keep you posted.

Cheers,

-J. H. Maximus

Fini

So it's the end of January, and I'm keeping with what I said about ending the blog. I'm tired of it. Tired of trying to come up with stuff to talk about, tired of ranting, and tired of voicing hatred over whatever gets my fancy for an evening. But this is still the last post, so there should really be something on here to echo those themes. Don't have to like it, just have to come up with it.

I do feel like I should let it return to the ashes though. The first original posts that I wrote ended with a question to which readers could respond, and usually they were just B.S. jokes or opinions that I could live without but didn't mind reading. To be honest I only remember one question/response series in detail and it wasn't very serious at all. There were a few responses that were serious, good comment conversations, but my memory isn't what it once was. Four years ago I could hear a conversation across a room and recite it the next week. Now I can barely remember what topic I'm on if I get distracted.

There is something I would like to end this with though. Rather than a final question on the post that you're free to respond to, I'd like to end this with a dialogue that you can still comment on, but also just think about. Or ignore, to be honest, I didn't care about getting responses up until now, I'm not going to start.

Where I'm going in life from here, I want to ask myself, "If I don't wake up tomorrow, am I happy with the person I am? And if not, I better start getting it together." So from here on out, I'm doing what I haven't done ever, and I'm breaking all my promises. Every single one. Some I will remake, but some I look back on and I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I've made promises that if I don't break will never let me be a different person, and all that really matters to me right now is trying to do better. I don't think I can just cold-turkey wipe hate from my heart, but I can show it less, act it less. I can walk away from people who have walked away from me. I promised to look out for some people, but right now I watch them throw all they have away, and while I would like to help them, there's nothing I can do but hope that someday they turn around and dig themselves out of their hole. I can be there then, no promises, but I'm not going to dive into Hell with them.

So I'm trying to do better. You can take that as you like, but I believe there are right and wrong choices, and I've intentionally been making the wrong ones recently. I'd like to change that. So I've got a new look, a new goal, and new promises to make and keep.

If any of this doesn't sit well with you, if you don't like what I have to say...I'm sorry. But not as sorry as you.

Cheers,

-Shadow of Light

Don't Wake Me Up

So here's the deal (haha, one of many), after January, this blog will be phasing out. I'm not tired of blogging, I'm not out of topics, it's just time for an end. Everything reaches a point where it's had a good run, but needs to be set aside and let other things progress. However, there are always those irritable exceptions that run their full life and then drag on further and you only watch them fall into ruin. It's a new year, I'd like to put as much to rest as possible - simply because it's time. As a matter of fact, the greatest of these has long since had it's time. You don't have to agree or like the outcome, but to put it very simply and bluntly (my apologies), it doesn't matter you're perspective - some things are inevitable. Besides, you'll get over it. Although, should there be some of you who cannot, then I ask only one thing: try. Trying gets people very far in many situations, even if they don't succeed.

So what's next? That's a good question. Better start with the present and work from there. Ah, hell, why not the past? Good as any other starting place.

But then again summaries are much more entertaining. Or at least easier to read through. For example, during my psychology class, I found the greatest possible summary of life ever. It's called 'Life' by Shannon Wheeler. Here:

Play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, play, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, first love, brief happiness, break up, regret, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, school, play, work, play, work, play, work, play, work, idealism, effort, rejection, failure, compromise, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, play, retire, play, die.

There. That is my past (minus most of the work) Present goes beyond that, yes beyond death. If you don't know this story, hurry up and ask.

And cheers to friends for that. Proof that people care about you. How sweet. How loving. Self-sacrificing. A chance for renewal. Rebirth. Second chances.

How about the rift with peace? Maybe someone was a little selfish? Not the most fully thought out plan. But hey, men. I can attest, I happen to be one. But true friends are the ones you keep even when they screw up, even when you can't undo what they've done. And what's more, a true friend is one who still accepts blame even when it's you're fault. They don't deserve it, they only had the best intentions, and had you been in their shoes you would have made the same decision. It's the complete and total failure that only friends could create.

And life goes on. For two years. And look where it's all gone. Look at what's been accomplished. Oh, aren't we special...

Hahaha, if only I'd known.

But like most, I didn't. I participated in making a choice and it was the wrong one. And this is where I find the silver lining.

I helped create my circumstances, and I'm going to help myself fix it. ^_^