Here to Kick It...

...Kickstart the Fight!!!

In the words of Ronan Harris, "I love Combichrist!"

I have a quote from Ronan for everything.

Been a while. Let me fill you in.

Lots of work, not enough time. Wait, that was the same during the post. Ok, how about this? Last weekend in SF. Tons of fun, spent the weekend visiting Teenie and got to see Rosales as well. Seeing two of my best friends - win. Then back to APU. Joy. Really bummed about leaving NorCal, as per usual - it's just not as fun here. But that might change a bit, at least for this week.

After a few days of bleh and the resettling sequence (48 hours of no food, waayy too much catching up for work, and shuffling of personalities), I'm back to being a comfortable me, and I'm looking forward to an exciting end of the week. Tonight I'm going with some friends to the midnight premiere of Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day (tix already paid for ^_^), and tomorrow night I'll most likely be going to the club Das Bunker to get back in my scene for a bit and to see Combichrist live. That's right! Actually that might not mean anything to you if you don't know who Combichrist is or if you just generally don't like them. I've mentioned them before, and before I mentioned them in this blog, I really wasn't a fan, I used to find them too violent and too harsh. Used to. They've been growing on me for a few years now, and right now, they're easily in my top 10. For the record, nothing will ever pass VNV Nation. Ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER!

I'd like to point out the really ironic part of all of this - Combichrist's song, 'Today I Woke to the Rain of Blood' features sound clips from Boondock Saints. The song starts with the Saint's Prayer, and features Connor's line from the final courtroom speech, "Each day we will spill their blood, 'til it rains down from the sky". One of the greatest movies of all time, and kudos to Combichrist for using the clips. Full of win.

Anyways today I'm listening to songs from Combi's newest album that came out last year (I think). I should say I was listening to the album, because I've actually been listening to 'Kickstart the Fight' on repeat. It's a fun song. Also, considering how many titles I've used in this blog that spellcheck doesn't know - this post is looking FILLED with red underlines - reminds me of the song 'Red', by guess who. That last bit doesn't matter at all, but I find it pretty AWESOME!

In other news (never getting tired of using this line btw) I've decided on one of the phrases I want in relation to my tattoos (when I get around to making them *sigh*) - Confutatis maledictis, falmmis acribus addictis: voca me cum benedictis. The Latin translation of the 16th verse of the hymn, Dies Irae (Day of Wrath). It translates into, "While the wicked are confounded, doomed to flames of woe unbounded, call me with thy saints surrounded". I find it fitting. So that's one tat idea - the rest I need to work on, but I've just found out about blacklight tats (!!!!). So I want to get one of those as well. Naturally, the design will be by me. (Blacklight tat news courtesy of Kat - THANK YOU!!!!!)

So here I is! More pumped than I should be, and running close to a full week without insomnia (I have the gut feeling it's gone, but where there's a change in balance there's usually some counter for it - we'll see). For now, I'm looking forward to an awesome night tonight, and another good night tomorrow. Feel like I freaked Nate out with info for the Combichrist concert, but as long as he stays out of the pits he should be safe from dying. I'm excited ^_^

That's all I have to say for now, we'll see how things work out. In the mean time I'll continue munching on the spike I found and the penny we cut in half last night (can't find my nail 'o_O).

For you, I'd like to revisit an old theme. Assignments. I want to hear your favourite monologue/verse/phrase/line/etc. It can be from anything - movie, book, poem, song - but I'm interested. If you want to be creative or if you don't have a favourite then describe your mood with one. You work out the details on this one.

Naturally I always participate. I'm going to bend the rules though and just post something I like though (depending on how you feel about rules, this is also an option for you):

Free will obsolete, intention unknown

This is the day, the day I'll try

'Cause this is the day, the day I die

-All Pain is Gone, Combichrist

and

She said: Now listen to me f***er, I got nothing to lose

She said: Damnation's at the door and I brought the booze

-Kickstart the Fight, Combichrist

Cheers *_^

-Shadow of Light

I Guess There's Always Something Killing Me

Hahaha! "I guess". That's clever. Life's killing me. "I guess" that's the intrinsic beauty of living - the longer you live, the longer you're dying. So then that makes immortality non-existence? It's really quite clever when you think about it, puts a whole new spin on morbidity - I'm officially an optimist now!

It's really been a while since the last post. I guess. Been super busy. Three 6-hour-a-week studio classes in a row is death incarnate. But fun. Naturally all the projects are due in the same three day periods so I have to end up cramming them in and pick and choose the occasional little assignments to not do. In the end, I do them, but they get pushed aside for projects worth more points. In the end it works out as it should, right now I can't kill myself more to get everything done at the same time. Time. That's the other thing - you'd think I'd have a lot even though I never sleep (ish - 10-15hrs a week doesn't really qualify), but I don't, I have some time to myself and I use that to maintain a small social life. Have to do something to keep my sanity. We all need something to live for, something to keep us grounded and here, to bring us back when we're breaking away. It could be that band you started practicing on Fridays, those friends you see after work, going home to feed your dog and watch some tv, calling that special someone when you have break to let them know they matter - whatever it may be, it's what keeps you going, it's the thing that feels like it will last, gives you something to look forward to, gives you something to work towards, something bright to hold onto.

Or maybe you're like me. Maybe you're still without. You run yourself dry without anything to give you another boost and when you get down to the dregs you lose yourself is something until you get a good shock to the heart to bring you back only to have to go through it all again. Turns out those little things can be pretty invaluable - they keep us grounded, keep us sane. They keep us tied to our environment, keep us stable when we're ready to collapse, "it surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds the galaxy together". I guess.

Speaking of environment, we've finally gotten some rain here in Hell. That's right, rain. In Azusa! It happens occasionally, and it makes the place so much better. Still doesn't make it good, but it makes it tolerable. Really want to be in SF right now though.

Trying to still find time to talk to people from home. Really want to skype with Rosales, but time really sucks, and I'm not using my free time too well - mostly for work and frivolous activities. Although, ripping people apart with brutal honesty when they ask for it doesn't really feel frivolous. Worst words spoken this week (and the ones that totally made my day) - "if you have something to say, just say it". Oh, ^_^ foolish man. "It's only when you've lost everything that you are free to do anything".

And while Fight Club has some really good philosophies on letting go and not being bound down, there comes a point where you need to take control and have something to lose. Only the dead have nothing to lose, and last I checked, I still had a pulse - granted that in however many years I won't have that anymore, until then I should still have something that matters.

So that's pretty much everything since the last post. Lots of work, not a lot of time, not a lot of sleep, and some time spent with friends but more time missing other friends.

Current Events: Spent a few days with Teenie and John and had fun. Accidentally forgot to give John his belt back, so I guess I'm holding onto that for a while. Great to see Teenie, can't wait until next time.

Bought a black light - working on setting up a black light cave in my bed should be really cool when it's done.

Clavicle is still jacked, haven't been wearing the sling for the last few days and got scolded by the dr. for that. It's uncomfortable and it inhibits my art projects. Many an hour snarling at it. That goes really well, slings really react when you snarl at them. right.

And that is all. Really. Or at least all I can remember. Tonight's title is from the song "The Siren" by Aesthetic Perfection. I'm really enjoying them, started with one song and now they're one of my favourites (will never top VNV of course, just so you know). The songs are typical aggrotech in terms of lyrics, and very close on the beats, but there's a certain 'happy' beat to them, the type of thing you might hear in a Darude song. Actually it's a bit closer to She Wants Revenge - but more electronic. Ish.

Here's a link to The Siren - http://twiturm.com/ahy69

And if you like that, then maybe check out Unterart's "Now or Never" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJXP4fX3jws

THAT...is all. Until the next time you can look forward to whatever you need to do, and I can look forward to lots of work and not as much time, and for something to keep me grounded. I'm getting to the point where I really need something to live for again. Music is great for resuscitation, but it's life support - I need a cure. Maybe I should give in to M's opinion and give love a chance again. We'll see. Until then...

Cheers,

Shadow of Light

"Self improvement is masturbation. Now self destruction..."